Focusing

Just as another night is concluding, another day is slowly creeping up and a new week is about to begin. The next few days will go by fast and I will wish I had more time to work and develop the pieces for my final. But it might be those quick decisions that will make them work. I will be putting in my best and hoping for a decent outcome.

During this semester, especially in the last month, maybe two, I've come to realize how important focus is. Without being bombarded by one of my favorite silent motivator, constantly pushing me to contribute more even though I have maxed out my quota. Being pushed to question my own methods, stepping out of my comfort to improve. It's a great being able to do that, but very scary at the same time. Failure always looming around the corner. These are chances I'm willing to take and learn from the outcome.

Here are some samples of what I've done in the past year:

untitled 2010
8"x10.5"
color pencils and ink on paper

untitled 2011
8"x10.5"
ink on paper

More to come once I get things scanned or photographed.

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On another note, I understand the importance of family, I think more than some people think. I understand how precious time is and people come and go at any moment. I hope they can understand that I am not saying no to something because I don't want to be around them or that they're not a priority, but that I am not able to please everyone and there are times when I have to be selfish and keep my own priorities in check to pursue my own path.

I like to think that we might be cut from the same stone, but we are not the same cut. We are chipped differently. And because of that, we have to find our own ways to fit in the world and be useful in our own ways. Therefore, no two person can follow the same path and succeed the same way.

I've focused, and the result is that I have neglected some duties that I have acquired or otherwise imposed upon me and neglected some relationships, both family and friends, that will always be important to me. I know people will react differently: some will be happy, some won't seem to notice a difference, and others might be angry. If they understood why, they will understand I didn't mean for it to happen, but it just had happen.

I really appreciate all those who have stuck by and continue their constant effort to include me, even though they probably know what my response might be. I wish I can be a better person to you and be there when you really need someone. At the moment, I have stretched myself out as much as I am able to. I hope you understand.

I've become MIA during this time and there might be more to come. I will admit that this focus on the path I want to follow have never been so great.

I'm learning.

Choices.
It always comes down to choices.
Right now,
I chose to focus.